WE08 Part 4: Where is that work-life balance everyone keeps talking about?

Here is the last of our posts to wrap-up the 2008 SWE National Conference. Three short days certainly seems like a whole month of experience looking back!

Megan:The keynote breakfast started my official conference experience. The charming Paz Gomez of the Navy was asked to speak on the popular topic of work-life balance. Captain Gomez is a working mother of twins, and shared her story of the priorities and choices she makes in order to make her life work. Several times, she used the phrase, “Well, she can do it, so maybe I can to” to describe how she viewed her mentors and how she may be able to help others. She describes one of the major benefits that I find in SWE – the strong examples of women who have paved the way by structuring their lives around their goals. Captain Gomez also stressed a point I have heard from several other speakers – that ultimately, work life balance choices must be personal. The woman I want to become is someone who fulfills the qualities of these women – clear priorities, faith in themselves, and strong networking, but in the end, she must still be me.

Bianca: The keynote speech was given by Navy Captain Paz Gomez. She was introduced by Rear Admiral Hamby, a female Navy Admiral who started out by saying “Let me find my notes… Oh, nope that's not it, this is my crossword puzzle… oh, here they are, under my knitting” to emphasize the importance of having a little fun and keep your mind sharp in creative ways. Rear Admiral Hamby emphasized Captain Gomez’s ability to handle her own work-life balance by knowing the difference between the most urgent and the most important things in life. She also reminded us of the need to “Put your own oxygen mask on first” in terms of remembering that if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. I really like thinking of it this way. Often it seems like the needs of others are more important - you'll take care of yourself later, when you have time. But the thing is you won't have time and if you're not getting what you need, then you won't be able to do your best for others either.

Gomez told her story of becoming a civil engineer and joining the Navy. She is the 5th woman to make Navy Captain in the Civil Engineering Corps, and the first to have a husband and children. She offered some of her own advice on how to handle work life balance, and my favorite comment was that while she may read and write e-mails on her Blackberry outside of work hours, she waits to send those messages until the start of the workday. She also asked herself, on the audience’s behalf, what is it that doesn’t get done for the sake of worklife balance? I was impressed that she thought to ask this question. She, like I suspect many of us, leaves house work off the list of priorities until guests are coming over. She also emphasized having your own definition of worklife balance and described hers in the following way:

“If you ask my husband and children, if they are proud that I am a Navy Captain, I know they will say “Yes!” If you ask my husband and children if I spend enough time with them, I know they will say “No”. But if you asked them if they would prefer I give up being a Captain to spend more time with them, I know they will say “No”.”

She said that while “enough” may never truly seem like enough, she is able to pursue her passion and enjoy time with her family and those are the things she considers to be priorities in her life. This is as good a philosophy as I've ever heard on work-life balance and this is the perspective I want to have going forward.